Today, even the presumption of wrongdoing can ruin a person as fast as the deed itself. Staying accountable to someone other than yourself is one of the best ways to stay on the right track. Being accountable allows us to be vulnerable, so this isn’t something that can be forced. We have to be willing to be open with the person we are asking to do this, so trust must be earned and given freely.
Staying Accountable Matters
It is so easy to lie to ourselves, most people don’t know they are doing it. Maybe a few people who can be, but the vast majority can’t be or refuse to be. Having someone in our life who is willing to ask us hard questions can help us stay on track. Someone we are willing to be accountable together.
Look at it this way, if you have someone you can be completely honest with, you have a key to stay on the up and up. Even Billy Graham had people he was accountable too and the Pope has a Father Confessor. No one in real authority is not tempted. Why should we be any different?
Your success in staying accountable is dependent on your honesty. We are so busy trying to figure out the best way to navigate life that we forget about complete honesty when it comes to our relationships with others. We often need to remind ourselves that it is not important sculpting our future if these relationships aren’t as good as possible. For me, this means it’s important to pay attention to the people we spend the most time with, as well as to those we spent the least time. In order to really attempt to invest in others, it helps to know that the other person is investing in you as much as you are investing into them. It’s also important not to be too quick to judge others who are just starting out in their own lives.
Being honest with another person is hard and has to be learned. You can do it, but you have to work at it. There will be times in the beginning where you are hesitant to open up. Building a relationship of this kind will take a couple of months at least. During this feeling out phase, you will know if this person can be trusted or if they are going to burn you the first time you open up.
Remember, the more you have to lose, the more you need to be accountable. Staying accountable isn’t hard, but it isn’t always easy. It may even sound impossible to you right now, but in the long run, having someone in your life you can check your ego with will pay off a hundred fold.
Here are a few questions to get you started. You will need to come up with others to suit your situation.
- Have you prayed and studied your bible this week?
- Do you attend church services regularly?
- Are you letting God lead you?
- Are you spending time nurturing and leading your family?
- Have you looked at a woman or man inappropriately?
- Have you knowingly committed a sin?
- Does God get credit for what you do?
- You know what you need to be asked. If you are eating too much then that should be on the list. If you are envious or overspend money, that’s on the list. Be honest and be accountable.
The simplest thing you can do to be accountable is to find someone you trust and start a relationship. Other possible partners are:
- Life Coach
- Spiritual Director
- Join AA, NA,
Al-Anon, or other recovery groups. You will get a sponsor to keep you accountable.
- A Pastor or priest you can trust.
Figure out where you are and what your needs are and start looking for someone to help you stay honest with yourself.